I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
