White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
