just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
