I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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