Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
