I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
