The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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