You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
