Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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