i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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