So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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