Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
