he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
