so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
