I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
