Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
