how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
