she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
