I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
