can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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