somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
