I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
