This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
