does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
