I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
