Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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