This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
