I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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