i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I can't turn off my feet"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
