I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
