I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
