girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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