Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
