I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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