sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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