why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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