sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
