so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
