It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
