Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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