He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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