My liver just broke up with me...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
