i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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