Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
