Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
