If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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