Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
