Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
