Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
