Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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